Quick question: Has there ever been a Mcdonald’s that closed due to lack of business? Hmmmmmm………..
Remember when I told you about how I usually just take pictures of my face because I highly prefer them over body images. Well I was going through my computer tonight organizing folders and deleting things and I ended up sifting through all my pictures. I definitely got sucked into the vortex that is my picture files. My future children are going to either be super stoked about having so much pictures of their super awesome mom when she was younger OR they are going to tell me that I have serious problems and I needed to put the camera down a long time ago. I like to live in a fairy tale land and think that they will find this intense amount of pictorial evidence that I existed as fun and delightful.
The reason I am bringing this topic up is I have decided I want to share the “full body” pictures of me that I have found. I also want to share with you how absolutely stupid I feel for ever thinking I was fat. I know some of you don’t know me but I have to say that I have always been rather secure and comfortable in my own skin but there are definitely some issues that I have battled with, one of which is thinking I was going to look ridiculous in pictures if it was more than just my face and as it turns out, I look totally fine. I will admit there is about 10 months of my life where I didn’t take pictures of myself because I went through a weird time (I will write about later on once we are in the trust tree.) I want to say that as I reflect back on all these pictures I am rather impressed at how much I feel like I stayed “the same” throughout the last 10 years or so. The one thing I find to be the best out of all is how much my hair has changed over the decade. I mean seriously, I have been blonde, black, red, brown haired, chopped short, A-line bob, long, curly….you name it…I did it. For the exception of not shaving my head into the Rihanna mohawk thing that I tried getting my best friend to do to me and she told me to “sleep on it and ask in the morning.” Thankfully I took her advice and woke up the next morning realizing I would have fully regretted that move.
If you think it’s ridiculous/offensive/lame/weird/stupid for me posting pictures of myself then I would leave this blog and go read hilarious celebrity gossip instead. I enjoy embarrassing & exposing myself on this blog as much as possible. I think it’s therapeutic and I strangely feel as though there is an audience for this sort of thing. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe one day I will figure all this out and realize this was a huge mistake.
Are you still with me? OMG YOU ARE?! Have I embarrassed myself yet or lost you as a friend? I really hope not. I swear there was a point to showing you all those pictures of me. Here it is……
I am a massive idiot.
No matter what I was doing in those pictures, I look like me. I like me. I really really do. I will do my best to never talk bad about my body ever again. It is really ridiculous. Where I got my misperceptions of myself, I am still trying to figure out. Those judgments that I placed on my own head were uncalled for and ludicrous. I really did waste a lot of time worrying about what I looked like when I should have been more concerned about more important things. More important things being ANYTHING ELSE. From here on out I have decided to dress in nothing but white skin tight shorts and a bra top. No Regrets.
In all seriousness, I will admit that there is truth to getting older and not caring as much about what people think of you. I tend to think that it isn’t so much about not caring, as it is about being more comfortable in your own skin. If you people don’t like you for you, then ohhhhhh well. Totally their loss. I guess that is the beauty of getting older XOXO
I think that will be it tonight. Oh! I almost forgot……my Grandma and I went to Panda Express for lunch/dinner today. We ate around 3:30pm and I had the Panda bowl with half chow mein/half rice with shrimp and veggies. It made me full the rest of the day so I didn’t eat anything else. I have no idea how many points that bowl was but I had only consumed 6 points leading up to that meal. I can’t imagine it was over 24 points so I am assuming I stayed within my range today. I also drank a ton of water, per usual.
I blogged tonight to this song “Half Asleep” by School of Seven Bells