All day long I was hyper, excited, happy, etc. etc. about my $500 win on the radio.
All day long I thought to myself “when I get home I am going to make a video blog about my phone call I made to the radio show this morning” and I am going to blog about it in great detail for the few people who care to read/listen.
After my super long and emotionally draining day at work (still rewarding though!) I came home, did chores, spent time with my Grandma and dog, took a bath and realized how utterly exhausted I am. The video blog is going to have to wait for tomorrow morning or maybe I will surprise myself with my writing abilities and feel like I can describe my experience well enough in this post that a video blog would be unnecessary.
I was listening to The Heidi & Frank talk radio show per usual while I got ready for work. If you haven’t heard of them then you aren’t really living. Click on their website to listen to their live stream….like right now. Just do it. THEY ARE HILARIOUS. I have been listening to them since I was 19 years old!!! I am 29 now. This is extreme commitment They JUST took over the morning show on KLOS in Los Angeles after The Mark & Brian show retired after 25 friggin years which is HUGE for them and I can’t be anymore happy for these people.
Here they are now
Here is a short YouTube video of Heidi and Frank in the studio being interviewed by the local news. You can catch a glimpse at how amazingly funny they are. If I haven’t convinced you about how great these two are then just leave now. Just leave….go.
Every day they give away “Cash & Gas” ($500) to listeners who call in and answer questions that Heidi and Frank pose to the audience. Most of these questions are trick questions and what not and I am generally always wrong whenever I play along at home.
A few weeks ago they had asked the question “What have 2/3rds of people done during sex?” For some reason my mind immediately went to “text message” even though I can safely say I have never done that. Turns out I was right
and some other woman who had the balls to call up won the $500 and I just sulked at my work desk cursing into the sky that I didn’t at least try and call in.
So back to this morning….Heidi and Frank were talking about TSA at the airport and were having people call in to talk about their experiences getting body searched and what not. I was listening to all these people call complaining about body searches and how they think they are ridiculous and offensive, blah blah blah.
I decided today was the day I was going to call in. I called….busy signal. I called again…busy signal….One. More. Try. IT RANG. My heart immediately threw up on itself. I GOT SO NERVOUS.
So here I am waiting to get on the radio just to tell a story.
I ran outside in the front yard because I have better reception out there and then decided I felt too exposed to the elements so I locked myself in my car. My palms were sweating, I felt dizzy..hahahahaha. THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WERE GOING TO HEAR ME TALK ON THE RADIO. BARF NUGGETS!
I hear Heidi and Frank come on the air and say “Caller #3, Julie..you there?” ….ok so Julie (maybe her name wasn’t Julie..I don’t remember) starts talking….This woman ends up telling her story, then compliments Heidi and Frank a bunch of times, says how she has been a listener for years and then straight up asks for the Cash & Gas “just because.”
Now normally people will do this on occasion even though they didn’t technically earn it and Heidi and Frank generally will give the money away to them anyway because they are awesome radio hosts. This time though Frank wasn’t feeling so generous and told the woman “No because you asked for it and that’s not how it works.” He still offered her tickets to Saturday’s Octoberfest party the radio station is throwing and she said “I can’t go because I work on Saturday’s…. because I need to make money..because I am so broke. I reallyyyyy need the money guys, pleaseeeeeeee.” Frank STILL DIDN’T GIVE HER THE MONEY. I was actually shocked. I was shocked because he didn’t (he usually does) AND because this woman was so ruthlessly persistent. It was weird.
So then all of a sudden I hear “Next caller on the line….Diana are you there?” ……My name is pronounced Dee-ana and this is something I have dealt with my entire life. I awkwardly said “Ummmm Deanna?” whereby they responded “Yes, Deanna sorry about that….”
So now I knew I was definitely on the radio and my story begins. I told them how I flew to Austin, TX a few weeks back to attend the ACL festival. Remember I posted about it?!?! The whole Craigslist fake ticket debacle?
It was the first time I got body searched and I am thinking it’s because I was wearing a long dress. I guess I was talking 1000mph because after I said the words “She had me spread my legs so she could search me” Frank chimed in and said “Wait, wait, wait…slow the story down a bit…….go back and tell me this slowly.” He was basically messing around and wanted me to tell this story in a slow sexy voice HAHAHAHA. Heidi is also an open, lovely and amazing lesbian and then she started to play along and was like “What color dress were you wearing again?” ……So I started over with my story in a slower and controlled manner…..
…….“So there was I was getting body searched by the TSA agent and she had me spread my legs open and she ran her hands up my legs to search me. Then she asked me what perfume I was wearing because she enjoyed it so I told her…..” <—– I attempted to say this as slow and “sexual” as possible trying my hardest not to burst into laugher.
From what I can remember because I seriously feel like I blacked out from nervousness; Frank and Heidi were like “Oh yah…this is good…keep going….and then what happened?” …..I ended the story by saying something to the effect of “I don’t care what people have to do to me to ensure my safety on a plane. They are just doing their jobs. Whatever to ensure safety”
Frank chimes in again and makes a joke and says “WHATEVER TO ENSURE SAFETY” …sounds like a title to a Polish action film. We all laughed and then Frank says to me “You know what Deanna, you just earned $500 for that story.”
I didn’t even have to answer a nutty question, I just had to tell a story and make them laugh!!!!!
That’s about it! I already went to the radio station on my lunch break today to claim my prize and there were no gimmicks or tricks…they didn’t make me sign up for some timeshare, make me pay taxes on it or force me into signing up for a seminar on how to manage radio show winnings. I signed a piece of paper saying I was receiving the money and BOOM they gave me two, $250 debit cards to spend however I would like. ABSOLUTELY FUCKING FANTASTIC I TELL YOU.
There you have it…my story about how I won $500 this morning on a radio show acting like a pseudo C-rated sex phone operator detailing a body search at the airport.
ANOTHER FUN FACT FOR THE NIGHT: Yesterday marked my busiest day on my blog in terms of views since I started this thing back in July. I have 1.5 hours left in the day and if I receive 10 more views then that means today’s blog views beat out yesterday’s! This is exciting to a nerd blogger like myself. It’s the little things in life, really. Thank you for all that read this thing. I really do appreciate it and I love you a lot and feel feel to tell your family and friends all about it. Sharing it on your Facebook would be rad too 🙂 Or not. You can just tell them about it, I guess 🙂
Good night everyone!
I leave you with some Halloween/dress up themed pictures of me throughout the years because this is my blog and I do what I want with it XO