October 27th

I lost .5 pounds.

According to the weight I lost at Weight Watchers that means I am still 2.5 pounds heavier than I was at my lowest weight when I was on their program. And by on their program I mean, going into the meetings to get weighed in by a stranger and then leaving promptly so I could avoid sitting through Fran Drecher talking for an hour. Despite the 2.5 weight gain that means I still am -14 pounds. 

I have a sneaky suspicious though that I am actually back to my lowest weight if I could just use the restroom, but due to my severe IBS issues, I don’t get granted that opportunity very often.

Here’s a button for me. I am going to wear it since I just semi-covertly discussed pooping on my blog.

Whatever, get over yourself if you don’t like when girls talk about pooping OR even worse ask questions like this brainless zombie did then you can feel free to ninja chop yourself right in the throat for being annoying. 

Who wears hats like this?

You know who….dudes that don’t get laid. 

During that short internet search for content related to “girls don’t poop” I ran into this semi-comedic, semi-disturbing YouTube video. Enjoy

I will end this particular rant with this takeaway:

Woman poop, fart, burp, pee etc. etc. etc.

If you are a guy answer this question:

How good does it feel to relieve yourself after a substantial bowel movement? 

I will answer it for you. IT FEELS FANTASTIC. Stop putting undue pressure on us woman to hide the fact that our bodies do the exact same thing you do because it’s medically and physically necessary.

Dear Women,

A lot of men could care less if you poop, fart or burp so stop being so insecure or shy around the fact that you are human and you have to do it IN ORDER TO SURVIVE. I am not saying you have to be obnoxious about it, bust out a megaphone and announce it to your partner seconds before you are intimate with one another but cut it out. Stop allowing society, on-going BAD jokes about how we don’t do it or any other unnecessary and ludicrous messages you have been fed make you feel shame for having to take a dump. <—-See right there….that was unnecessary. I didn’t have to say dump but I did because 1.) I am crude sometimes 2.) I’m making a point and 3.) this is my blog and I can say whatever I want on it. 

Dear Society, 

Screw you and your weird messages you feed to EVERYONE giving million of people complexes and insecurities that most likely will never get over. You’re rude. 

Love, Deanna 

WITH ALL THAT SAID I actually had to finally use the restroom while I was writing this rant and now I can say that I am only 1.5 pounds away from my lowest weight instead of 2.5. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA. Maybe I found the key to success. Blog about pooping and then I will poop. HEY! Stop getting grossed out again. MY GOD, you are annoying!

……………………………………………

I’m inching closer to just saying EFF IT and telling everyone how much I actually weigh because keeping it a secret goes against who I actually am…..

Get it.

An open book. 

Yah….I think that’s what I am going to do. But not now. Later….like later today.

I actually think I can come up with some really funny material behind the whole issue of telling people how much I weigh and how funny I think it is that I weigh as much as a dude that is fucking ripped out with muscles considering muscles weigh more than fact. I don’t get it.

Not to mention the fact that everyone always guesses I am 20-30 pounds lighter than I actually am. I also can go on and on and on about how whatever weight I am, I feel like I am actually 30 pounds less than that due to my head, boobs and butt which I don’t want to lose anyway, therefore making me my target weight LOL.

I have said too much already. I need to stop.

Alright….who the hell cares. I am going to talk about it later. There you have it.

Come back later if you want to read me rant on about my actual weight # and how it doesn’t really matter at the end of the day anyway.

Thanks, love you!

And remember…..

About FunnyGirlweightloss

Hey You! Welcome to my blog, I am happy you stopped by and I hope my struggles make you laugh a little bit....wait, what?....Anywho, this is my weight loss blog where I will be 100% honest and real about my struggles in losing some weight and more importantly, keeping it off. Most people that know me say I am funny (hence, the title of this blog) so I guess the twist is the fact that I am going to be completely candid about how much losing weight can be really tough/hard/awful/daunting/boring, yet eventually amazing and totally worthwhile. Hopefully through my vulnerability and candidness, I help inspire others to lose some weight and stay motivated. https://funnygirlweightloss.wordpress.com/
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s