I am not going to even think about complaining about having a full-time job in this day & age but I will continue to talk about how damn tired I am after a day of working. I am currently in bed typing this and all I can think about is that I feel like this guy:
There was actually a moment there when I started to type with one eye open and the other one shut.
Daniela, my coworker reminded me today that I have yet to blog about what actually happened on Saturday that made me think that the Universe had bad jew jew’s floating around me and were coming to destroy my existence. After explaining it out loud to her I realized how stupid the story sounded and decided to not tell the entire thing on here for fear that I could lose at least 40 people from sheer boredom. I will blog about my breakfast nightmare though because it is too awful to pass up.
If you don’t want to read about a girl complaining about FirstWorldProblems then scroll down or go shop for shoes on Zappos.com or something.
On Saturday morning I met my mom’s friend for breakfast. I went against my gut instinct which was to tell her “Hell to Effing No” when she told me she wanted to go to CoCo’s but I decided not to. Big Mistake.
I don’t like CoCo’s or Ihop or Denny’s for that matter. Denny’s is only good at 3am when you are so drunk you can’t make any good life decisions anyway and you think that crap food is delicious and can justify spending $15 on a meal that should have cost you $2.50 at best.
Anyway….here are the reasons why this breakfast turned out to be the opposite of awesome:
1.) It took the waitress 20 minutes before she even acknowledged my existence (My mom’s friend didn’t show up for about 20 minutes and I had already got a table for us so I decided to stare at the sugar packets and pretend like I had important things to think about.)
2.) When the waitress DID acknowledge me she said “Sorry, I have been a little busy” in a way that made it sound like it was my fault.
3.) Lady, you aren’t busy. I am in your section and I can see that the 5 out of 10 tables you are serving are currently empty.
4.) When she finally did take our drink order after 30 minutes of sitting there with nothing in front of us including utensils, she finally brought us our coffee. Then she proceeded to do this awful coffee serving tactic which I CANNOT STAND. I have made a meme to demonstrate my #firstworldproblem. I am sure it’s already been done but I couldn’t find it fast enough on the internet and I am also more than sure there are other people reading this that feel my pain
5.) Before our waitress even asked us what we wanted to drink she had already taken the drink and food order of a couple who came about 10-20 minutes AFTER I did. THAT IS THE WORST.
6.) We finally order our food. I ordered eggs, bacon, fresh fruit and a muffin. My mom’s friend ordered french toast. IT TOOK 45 MINUTES FOR THIS TO COME OUT?!?!?! I am pretty positive I could make this order blind folded and handcuffed in less than 5 minutes flat.
7.) The food comes out and not only is the presentation atrocious but the food is cold and the muffin is hot enough to give the roof of your mouth a 3rd degree burn which lead me to believe they probably threw it in the microwave before serving it to me.
I had, had it at this point.
I can safely say that I have NEVER complained about service or food even when it was lack luster in any eatery establishment because frankly I don’t care that much about anything. It’s really not that big of a deal to me and if things are “good enough” then I will live with it, pay for my meal, tip the human being serving me and go about my day.
This was too much though. I was sitting and staring at the oddly huge plate with what looked like the equivalent of 3 bites of eggs and 2 floppy bacon strips that were 85% white fat and I thought to myself “Are you seriously about to pay $10 for this? I wouldn’t have paid $3 for that not to mention I wouldn’t have eaten it if someone PAID ME $10 to eat it. Cold eggs. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
Even though I sound like the world’s biggest bitch, I will defend myself and say that I was still very polite to our waitress and didn’t bring up the fact that she did 10 things wrong during our interaction AND never taking responsibility for any of it. Instead I merely focused on the fact that the food was cold and we didn’t want it and we weren’t going to pay. I also wasn’t that jerk that ate 90% of my meal and then decided to tell someone that the meal was awful and they weren’t going to pay the bill. No, no…I’m not that kind of a person but I guess I am the kind of person that will out right refuse to pay for something if is WORLD’S APART from what I expected the meal to even remotely be. Never thought I was that girl. In fact, I never thought I had the guts to tell someone I wasn’t going to pay for a product or service that was already “created” and sitting in front of me.
That was weird. Did I just grow up more?
So that was my nightmare breakfast story. INTERESTING HUH?! I didn’t think so either.
I felt weird about a lot of things that day so I came home and thought about how much I wanted to fly to NY and help out the recovery efforts from Hurricane Sandy. Instead, I just donated $10 to the Red Cross.
I also put made another bra-hat and put it on Tessa’s head. This time she looked more mortified and scared than usual.
That would be my Grandma giving Tessa a pity hug and also telling her that she was going to protect her from me.
So tomorrow is election day here in the good ol’ United States of America and I cannot possibly tell you how excited I am to get Facebook back to it’s regular scheduled program of people discussing their daily recipe, taking photos of their Starbucks beverage, updating their status by using vague descriptions as a cry for attention/help to make people wonder “WTF is she talking about or referring to” instead of giving unsolicited opinions about Mitt Romney or President Obama.
I say “she” when I refer to vaguebookers because let’s be honest…….this is typically a girl thing to do. Hey girls/woman…..cut that shit out. It’s annoying. Don’t be a vague-booking statistic, ok. It’s not cute, ESPECIALLY if you are over the page of 20.
Vague-Booking Definition brought to you by Urban Dictionary:
|1.||Vaguebooking||11106 up, 1549 down|
An intentionally vague Facebook status update, that prompts friends to ask what’s going on, or is possibly a cry for help.
Mary is: “wondering if it is all worth it”
Mark is: “thinking that was a bad idea”
“Have you talked to Mark? He’s vaguebooking again. I wonder if he’s back with Mary…”
|2.||Vaguebooking||436 up, 169 down|
An intentionally vague Facebook status update, that prompts friends to “Hide” future updates by the perpetrator.
Mary is: “wondering if it is all worth it”
“Good grief, Mary, give the fishing for sympathy a break and phone a friend instead of vaguebooking. Hmm, what’s this? ‘Hide all updates from Mary’? Much better, now I only get updates worth reading!”
Seriously though, I cannot wait for the Presidential elections to be done and over with.
I will keep this person’s identify secret but this person wrote me a private message on FB today and said this:
“Things you wish you could say on FB: I cant wait for the election to be over so I can resume pretending that we all get along and ignore the fact that on a very fundamental level we are different. And you are wrong.”
I urged him/her to just post it on FB but they didn’t. Sad face. I thought it was gold standard, genius material but I also know that this person doesn’t like to “make waves” that that could have created some rouge wave knocking over a cruise ship full of puppies and newborns wrapped in blankets that smell like candy cane lollipops.
Ok I’m exhausted.
Oh yah, the food thing….I ate food today. I kept within my points. Trying to stay at it because I have a dress to fit into this weekend because I’m going to a wedding in San Diego. This also means that my boyfriend will be in town on Thursday to accompany me to said wedding. This makes me extremely happy. I can’t wait to see his face.