I need to go back to the gym. BAD.
I’m going to the gym today NO MATTER WHAT.
I don’t care if I come home and lose both my legs in a freak accident.
I don’t care if I come home and my dog starts talking to me in perfect English and alerts me that if I do go to the gym she will never speak like this ever again.
I don’t care if I get sick and start projectile vomiting and blood comes spilling out of my eye sockets.
I don’t care if I have a sudden case of severe dementia and I am not orientated to time, place or person.
I don’t care if I show up to the gym and a staff member tells me that every person with a name that starts with D is not allowed in the gym or else they will be brutally assaulted by a gorilla in heat.
I don’t care if the only machine that is open is one covered in visible fast-growing bacteria and slime.
I don’t care if all my gym clothes magically disappear and the only thing I can possibly wear to exercise in is my high school prom dress.
Seriously, guys. I’m going.
I leave you with these: